


running from the rain

by spideywhiteys



Series: 365 Days of Naruto AUs [19]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, BIG RIP for my girl konan, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Others Mentioned - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, nagato and yahiko are dead here too, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideywhiteys/pseuds/spideywhiteys
Summary: Konan is immortal for as long as she chooses to be, or for as long as she's able to outrun her enemies. Someday, be it tomorrow or a thousand years worth of tomorrows, she will choose a day. Or she will find a home.
Relationships: Jiraiya & Konan (Naruto)
Series: 365 Days of Naruto AUs [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2086938
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	running from the rain

**Author's Note:**

> Day 19: Vampire AU ft. "wanting to escape" / Konan + Jiraiya

Konan presses her fingers to the stained glass, the outside blurred by color and rain. There’s a longing in her chest, resting right beside her heart. The sky is overcast and heavy with gray, spilling tears in a thunderous tantrum. The castle is cold, but the castle is always cold. A corpse made of stone that houses vampires as vital organs. She breathes though she doesn’t have to, because humanity is a pipedream and she doesn’t yet want to wake. 

“There’s no sun today.” Jiraiya says, leant against the wall like an ornament. He’s silent in his movements, as they all are.

She replies, “But how far would I get?”

Because they won’t let her leave just yet, they don’t trust her after the havoc she’s caused. Though the child with sun in his soul and more humanity remaining than most have when they’re alive forgives her so easily. He reminds her of Yahiko. He reminds her of Nagato. She thinks she could make a life here, beside him, using him to replace the sun they’re no longer allowed to walk under.

But she can’t, because her home and her heart belong somewhere else — to  _ someone _ else. Two someones.

They don’t exist anymore. So neither does her heart and home. 

“Do you regret turning us, all those years ago?” She asks, fingers trailing down the cool glass, colder than the building, colder than her flesh. Naruto is out and everything feels so much  _ less _ when he’s around. Like the heat has turned off. They don’t feel the cold the way humans do. But she still knows it’s cold. She’s always cold.

Jiraiya shifts closer to her, and she can’t feel his body heat because he doesn’t give of any, but he’s a little bit warm anyway. “How could I?”

Yes, how could he, when they lived far longer than they would have if he hadn’t? How could he, when they were allowed more years together, more memories together, more happiness together?

She knows this truth, but she also never expected to be the last one standing. Even when dead yet walking, she’d been surrounded with heat and now —

Now the cold crept up like a predator in wait. Like it’d been itching for this moment. She doesn’t want to turn into those rabid, half-insane vampires that have to be put down after causing massacres. But she’ll go mad without them, she knows it. She wants to join them, wherever they’ve gone after their final death.

“You could be happy here, Konan.” 

“Can I?”

He looks at her like she’s still the same child she was hundreds of years ago. Aged face open and honest the way it always is with those he trusts. He’s a strong man. A powerful vampire. But he’s too kind in the heart. 

“With us, yes. You like Naruto, I know you do. You like the girls! They love having you around!” 

She smiles, soft like she’s forgotten how. “I do not belong here. I’ve hurt them too much.”

“It’s not unforgivable.” He says, voice straining as he tries to convince her.  _ “You _ aren’t unforgivable.”

“Perhaps.” 

Konan rests her forehead against a geometric cut of cyan stained glass. She looks to the rolling fields and vast forest surrounding the castle. It’s wet and dreary out, but perhaps that’s where she belongs. Maybe she  _ should _ leave, so she can sit in the rain one last time. So she can wait until the sky clears and the sun comes out—

And she can burn.

The rain reminds her of childhood, of the place she, Nagato and Yahiko had lived for most of their whole lives. If she can rest in the place where she feels closest to them, the rain, then she can die her last death happily. She can feel complete under an open sky, when the rain washes away and the clouds fade and split. 

It will hurt, but she can handle pain.

“We’re all here for you, kid.  _ I’m _ here for you.” Jiraiya murmurs, his voice low. “You don’t have to do this. You can make a home here.”

Konan continues to look to the rain. There’s a sun here, in the castle. His name is Naruto. She could make a home here and he could heal her, him and the entire gathering of vampires that call this place their home. She knows this. 

She turns away from the rain and the glass and the forests, looking him directly in the eyes. “What if I don’t want to? What will you do then?”

“I’ll be very sad.” He admits, truthfully, painfully. “I want you to stay with us. But….you’re an adult. And vampires live forever, Konan. Death is for mortals, but it’s not exclusive to them. One day, all of us will die, whether it be because we’re killed or we kill ourselves. It may take millions of years, but it will happen. I won’t choose the time for you, if that’s what you wish. But just know I think you can make a home here, and it doesn’t mean you have to replace the one you left.”

Konan wishes she had breath in her lungs to sigh. She turns to the window once more, her heart fragile like paper. The world is a confusing place without Nagato and Yahiko. She can’t be sure it’s worth living in. She can’t be sure of a lot of things. 

She closes her eyes.

“I don’t feel like going out today.” She murmurs, tucking thoughts of the rain away in her chest, because it’s hollow and empty with death and only these memories can give her life. Another day will come.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow / Support me on [Tumblr](https://spideyfoof.tumblr.com/) and let me know if you'd like to see more of this AU!


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